'Living in uncertain times'

When I walk in the alleys of the neighbourhood of Bronx, a visual of stark loneliness and defeat greets me. An elderly woman is sitting on a bench, finding herself in an existential cul-de-sac. As I approach her, she summons me to sit beside her. I begin interviewing her, gently prodding her to talk about the effects of poverty and discrimination on her family.

That quiet conversation is a reminder that the inflammatory rhetoric of the black power movement, with its talk of revolution, national liberation and armed struggle, had its roots in bitter experience. And while she tells a story of defiance and pride, it is also a tale of defeat, frustration and terrible destruction. The killing of her son in the gang war, the grinding toll of the Recession, the everyday struggle to feed her family (whatever is left of it), the spread of heroin in the ghettos of northern cities: these are not chapters in a tale of triumph.

And it leaves me in a bracing state of confusion, wondering how much has changed and how the change took place. How will the America of Barack Obama, who represents a very different kind of black power, any different from that of the days of Martin Luther King or Stokey Carmichael? To what extent is it the same America? Perhaps there are some visitors from outside who can help us make sense of it all.

One of 'those' posts

It's two in the night and I am wide awake thinking about how inimical the mind can be. Everything that the brain wonders, has or does not have a meaning. There are situations in one's life which are extremely difficult to understand. The complexity of the human mind is nothing but a mere 'complexity'. As human beings, we have been gifted with a mind which has the potential to either smash us into pieces or build us from smithereens. The choice, the rhetorical 'choice' has to be made. Sometimes, we are incapable of making choices, we end up by the choices made on our behalf by 'Destiny'. 

Now, destiny, is this another facet of our existence that schmoozes us in ways which only 'it' understands. There are always questions but never submissions; always doubts but never an embracing faith; suffering but no respite; pain but no cure: "the 'buts' are the dark clouds that never let the silver linings glimmer." 

P.S: If someone were to ask me, what does this post mean? 

The answer, as they say, lies within.  

 

Ziro - Festival of Music -'13 -- Short Film

http://youtu.be/J8coGzWtwCY

Ziro Festival of Music is not only about great music but a synchoricity of diverse cultures in a locale that is surreal with it's picturesque surroundings. An offbeat and unheard of location, Ziro in Arunachal Pradesh, India brings together the north east with the rest of the country and the world through the universal language of music. It is about cross-pollination between disparate people, ideas, traditions and their  connection through music. The festival reflects the spirit and impulse of the place and as one music enthusiast put it, “...takes you deeper within yourself.”

'Soul, you pobrecito!'

To witness someone’s anguish, pain and suffering can evoke a strong sense of sadness. It is a vicarious experience. It is sometimes by listening to the words of a song and being empathetic with what that person must have gone through. His or her pains and joys and can lay an impact on one’s heart and soul. It is a realization that one likes to keep at bay for it has a ‘senseless effect’: an effect that is shrouded in meaninglessness, like several other things. Usually one is in a reverie and for some reason; calm in that state, and sometimes in a nightmare; deeply unsettled. This so called state is a refuge from everything that is going around. Yes, maybe, these are means of escapism but the truth of reality is so bitter and so sad that one thinks of ways in which one can numb oneself, throw oneself in a vortex of lies and forget the truths of reality.

I am borrowing these lines from a movie:

“Drinking alters your consciousness and weakens you psychically like it creates cracks and bad stuff creeps in to those cracks and maybe never go away.”  This implies to those who drown themselves in alcohol to run away from life. This is one of the many ways. Some do drugs and each one knows uniquely how to enter in a fugue state. It is bewildering and yet fascinating. This is how mind conjures up images, beliefs and actions.

In the end, I ask myself yet again, what is the real truth?

Experiencing Pragmatic Spirituality

Life and it's strange ways have always intrigued me to an extent of acute bewilderment. In my quest to find answers to questions which have befuddled my being and soul, I came across a unique approach of pragmatic spirituality. This is achieved through a yogic approach of Stress Management and Motivational Counseling at Jaslok Hospital conducted by Dr. Sanjay Divgi. This approach has helped me immensely in self-realisation to understand my unique self and unique reality. It has also benefited me to adjust my unique self with my unique reality and has set me on the path to reach my potential as a human being. To accept and accept happily the person I am and the reality of who I am, has filled me with a sense of calm and serenity through the improvements that I have experienced.

The Contours of Pain

Sometimes there is a deep gash in the body and the resulting pain seems to be numbed by a scream of great hurt inside. Now, where does so much pain come from? It always leaves me in a bind.

Words, actions and observations can leave one standing amidst suffering, agony, grief and sometimes in a state of fugue. To decipher, (why do we have to decipher?) is a conundrum that in the beginning is unsolvable but with the breeze of time, the feeling of this-is-the-best-teacher shrouds us.

To be in state of pain and then making efforts to replace it with other emotions is an ordeal and only those who are in these existential spaces understand the gravity. It could be a pain of helplessness, a pain of wanting, the pain of a widow or the  pain of witnessing pain.

To be grateful for what we have and what we don't, requires a lot of mental tenacity and a strong will to yank one out of that 'state of pain.'

As someone correctly said, "Nothing is permanent."

P.S. Another post filled with incongruous thoughts and another year changes to another random number.

An Apology

As life passes us by, we meet several people and through our experiences with them consisting of interactions and conversations; we do end up hurting some of them in some way or the other. The intent is to never irk anyone, to cause unbearable pain and angst, however, there are manifestations of the mind that convolute our actions, behaviours, attitudes resulting in causing grief, hurt, pain, suffering to people. When we look back and look at those people from their viewpoints, and the clarity in context of how what we might have said, or done, would've affected them, a sordid realisation hits us. One would rather maintain a dignified silence than talk unnecessarily, in an effort to make random chats we never know how the other person is construing words being spewed aridly.
In order to correct this, and everything between that, it's time to make an apology. An apology to all those who have been hurt, affected negatively, faced the heat of an affront, been at the receiving end of a rudeness, meanness. This apology is nothing but an effort and an exercise to make them feel better in whatever manner it works. However, a mere apology may not be able to exonerate us and absolve their pain and sufferings. Yet, an apology goes out in the universe to all those who have reeked in hurt because of an attitudinal aberration, a nasty line, an obnoxious comment, an angry retort. Well, the devil may argue that the damage has been done, because words are irrevocable.

Irrespective, the apology stands it's ground strong, steady and consistent. May the pain be lessened because the carrier had no inkling that it would shatter the peace of the receiver.